The fact that I have the maturity level of a young adult and I’m 17 years old is the most obnoxious thing in the world. Aside from having trouble just finding a parter as a result of my sexual orientation, once I find a man I’m even remotely interested in it can never work out, due to the fact the only men I relate to are 20+ years of age. Of course I still get complimented and luck out with the occasional first date, but nothing lasts… there is always the slightest problem that turns into the biggest deal resulting in everything in the relationship being forgotten and over with. 

The part that bothers me the most is that it’s not forgotten, not to me at least. There’s never a part of me that doesn’t get so frusturated that I can’t do anything to change the fact that I just turned 17 and I can’t hold a relationship with an older man because of the fact that I’m not legal to get into bars, clubs, etc. I feel that if you truly have feelings for someone even if you’re not sure that you love them yet, you can’t just exclude them from your life. When you get to know someone on a romantic and personal level and start developing feelings for them over time there’s not a fight in the world that could make you want to not try to work things out. Sure, there’s somethings that can’t be changed or solved… but there’s always a way around it. 

I can’t change my age, and to be honest I don’t want to seeing as I have so much to still learn, experience and discover. I can however be hardworking, motivated and educate myself to the point where hopefully one day when the right man does enter my life in some way, I’ll be ready. 

I guess I just really needed to vent, and truly persuade myself into never giving up on myself and convincing myself everything will workout for the better when at the back of my mind I know it will be. I tried keeping this short, and I don’t even expect many people to read this but maybe someone else out there will be helped or even just amused by my thoughts. I tried writing this with as little personal information as I could so someone in my situation that might stumble upon this could relate it to themselves.  Enjoy - I realize this paragraph should probably have been written first, but I wrote this off the top of my head as I was feeling it.